my boyfriend’s rival is fassy/ fassy is my boyfriend’s rival

I am abnormally obsessed with the actor Michael Fassbender (better known to his disciples as “Fassy”). The above is a video tour of the textual sublimation of my peculiarly sexual obsession with Fassy. To narrate the exact provenance of my obsession with Fassy is a bigger textual task. Suffice for now to say that I saw X-Men: First Class in the theatre four times. My fantasy date is for me and my boyfriend to have a double date with Fassy and Zoe Kravitz. And I love that that tiny patch on Fassy’s right upper lip where facial hair does not grow. My boyfriend had patiently borne the hysteria of my obsession with Fassy, and rather than have me bear an illegitimate child of Fassy, suggested that I not only write something about it, but that I turn the text into a holdable object.

We came to call this object a “foldover”: kind of like a turnover: text and art in a flaky buttery shell that can be popped into your brain when you’re walking to work or needing a mid-afternoon sweet fix. The foldover contains two short pieces on Fassy’s presence in the two films (A Dangerous Method and Shame), and an original drawing. It is color printed on vellum, and the covers (whose design is inspired from 90s issues of Interview magazine) have been hand-painted by yours truly. Only 28 have been produced.

The foldovers will be available for purchase at some fine outlets or blackmarket corner in the near future. In the meantime, they will make their public debut tonight at Dirty Looks, a fabulous queer film series directed by Bradford Nordeen (tonight’s event, at Judson Memorial Church in New York, highlights the video work of Charles Atlas). The timing of the debut feels right, as Fassy’s name was not among the Oscar nominations that were announced yesterday.

So in angora soft protest of Fassy’s victimization, my boyfriend Roddy will be representing me and my Fassy foldover at Dirty Looks tonight. My boyfriend is so Lord Warburton from Henry James’s The Portrait of a Lady: he has “a kind thought even for a rival.” So if you are in New York, swing by, catch some great queer video work, maybe buy a foldover, and say hi to the only man in my world who is Fassy’s rival.